My Dog Is More Pampered Than Me — Funny Dog Mom/Dog Dad Comfort Colors Graphic Tee

His last bath involved lavender shampoo, a warm towel, and a blow dry on the low setting because the high setting makes him nervous.

Yours was four minutes and whatever shampoo was closest.

He has a grooming appointment on the calendar. A regular groomer who knows his preferences, remembers that he

likes the bandana at the end, and sends home a little report card. You booked his next appointment before you

left. You have not booked yourself a haircut in four months.

There is a dedicated drawer for his grooming supplies. The good brush. The detangling spray. The paw balm for

winter. The nose balm. The dental chews that are apparently better than the other dental chews. The ear cleaner he tolerates with the patience of a saint. The nail file for between appointments because you read that regular maintenance matters and of course you need that.

You have a travel-sized version of his essentials packed in the car.

You do not have a travel kit for yourself.

This is not an accident. This is a standard of care you set, deliberately, because he deserves to feel good and you made sure he does. His coat is healthy. His paws are soft. His teeth are clean. His groomer knows his name and his preferences and sends him home looking absolutely incredible every single time.

You did that.That's not excessive. That's love with a grooming schedule.

This funny dog parent shirt is for the dog owner who has built a full wellness routine for their dog and maintains it without question — while running on dry shampoo and good intentions. Your dog is immaculate. You are so proud of him.

A perfect gift for dog moms, dog dads, and anyone who has ever rescheduled their own appointment to make sure

their dog's grooming slot stayed on the calendar.

- Comfort Colors 1717 garment-dyed tee in Moss

- Relaxed, boxy fit — soft from the first wear

- Original illustrated design, created exclusively for My Máximo Life

- Printed in the USA — made when you order it

Boxy, relaxed silhouette by design. Size down for a more fitted look.

Part of the Méximo Love collection — for the people who love their dogs a completely reasonable and totally proportionate amount.